Love versus Infatuation: Discerning the Pitfall

Love at first sight! This is very common in most people, young and old alike. We often heard stories about this in movies or songs and even read from books or novels. But how genuine really is this love at first? What about at second sight, at third sight and all the moments after? Is it really a love at first sight or a mere infatuation? Surprisingly, the answer goes to the latter as it is just a romantic notion that distorts our concept of true love. And this is often used by males as effective pick-up line to get prospect fmales reeled in. Don’t get offended guys, just calmly accept the fact. 😉

I am wondering how other girls (especially those younger ones) react to this romantic notion if they happen to hear one. This is driving me in too much curiosity since I personally happened to hear this pick-up line recently. I bet, you wouldn’t believe it at my age and status. Me, either, but what I’m saying is completely true. And that experience stirred my inner peace to write this blog for the sake of those young girls not to be reeled in too easily because LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT simply does not exist. It’s just pure romantic notion and I want to point out here the pitfall between love and infatuation. I am not saying romance is bad. What I am trying to say is that in our most reflective moments let us admit that there’s more to love than meets the eye.

I know pretty well that that guy who’s saying he’s in love with me at first sight is plotting something for his own advantage. You surely get what I mean, right?  So, out of my curiosity, I excitedly hop in the passenger seat to take benefits of the joy ride and measure how far can he go. At my age now, I so love experimenting especially when it comes to this crazy little thing they called “love”. 😉 I know this guy is just infatuated. So, game on…I don’t care if I spend money to get my phone loaded 24/7 to entertain this guy’s endearments. I don’t care if my husband will find out about the spy game I am into and dump me somewhere else. 😉 (Peace in advance babe!) All I care about is to really find out myself what some of these modern guys are up to and capable of doing, especially that nowadays means of communication is at its highest peak and full-bloomed.

Consequently, the affair lasted in just a matter of week or two as I expected. The guy grow tired of asking me out and with me reassuring him with indecisiveness to keep the flame burning. I had experienced waking up in the morning by his early messages and jesting the night away with exchanging of nonsense talks and sweet nothings that most typical young lovers often do with their mobile phones. It was indeed fun and I was feeling youthful again. But the most important of all was that I am learning a lot from that experience. I have a daughter to teach about the ins and outs of having a relationship with the opposite sex sooner or later and this experience is quite helpful. If she would be that obedient enough to listen years from now then she would benefit from the experiences I had learned. Well, we cannot predict the future but at least I am prepared.

So, now let’s discern through the keyholes of love and infatuation. I know, right! I am not a licensed counselor but I am married for 10 years and I have experiences and lessons to tell. Well, it’s up to you now. You can freely take it or simply just leave it. Tho it’s gonna take you to a lot of reading but it’s really worth it.

Love versus Infatuation

1. When it’s  TRUE LOVE, you have to consider lots of other factors aside from PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. In a total relationship, physical attraction will only make up a meager portion. Otherwise, when you are INFATUATED, you only consider the chills and thrills, the heartthrobs and goose bumps you felt when thinking about the other person. In short, you often largely depend on the physical attributes of the person.

2. In TRUE LOVE, it often brings out the best in you. Promoting self improvement, self-respect and personal growth. You will grow full of ambition. However,in INFATUATION, you will tend to forget the realities of life because being infatuated brings forth a disorganizing and destructive effect on the personality.

3. You know it’s TRUE LOVE when you fairly recognizes both the fine qualities and less than perfect qualities of the opposite sex. On one hand, INFATUATION only keeps you idolizing and idealizing the other person because you are extremely unwilling to admit that some faults and flaws might exist.

4. TRUE LOVE waits as they say. That’s because love takes time to mature and fully develop. Thereafter, a genuine love takes time to end as it also takes time to grow. However, INFATUATION ends very rapidly especially if both persons are not SEXUALLY INVOLVED. Please do take note, being sexually involved before marriage is not a valid sign of true love. Tho some may end up in marriage but it’s not an assurance for the relationship to last a lifetime.

5. It’s TRUE LOVE when you are interested and willing to share and give security and happiness to the other person while it’s purely INFATUATION when you are only interested with what the relationship can give you.

6. TRUE LOVE often comes with biological and emotional maturity which grows over a period of time. On the other hand, INFATUATION is most frequent and is often present among immature persons and young adolescent.

7. The act of TRUE LOVE cares, nurtures and protect the other person by all means while being INFATUATED only shows exploitation to the other person to one’s own advantage.

So, I do hope you get a little insight from my post. And if you have just started to fall in love kindly weigh in the differences, it might be that you are only infatuated. Fellow parents who are coping up with teenagers in love and relationship crisis, please be guided accordingly. And guys, if it’s not genuine love but purely infatuation, don’t even think about it and save a girl from an outburst of tears. Better yet, ponder on this:

photo taken from the net

photo taken from the net



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